My unwanted Euphoria

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I learned to smile with storms in my chest,

to wear sunlight over a sky that never rested.

Every morning I stitched myself together,

thread by thread, secret by secret.

//

There were nights when the silence grew teeth,

and memories wandered through my veins like fire.

I chased escapes disguised as freedom,

mistaking falling for flying.

//

Then came moments-brief and blinding-

when the world glowed beneath my skin.

Streetlights became constellations,

and my heartbeat sang louder than reason.

//

I called it happiness.

I called it being alive.

I called it everything I had been searching for.

//

But euphoria is a beautiful liar;

it paints gold over broken walls,

turns echoes into symphonies,

and convinces me I am endless.

//

Still, somewhere between the highs and the wreckage,

I found a quieter truth:

I am not the rush,

not the fall,

not the ghosts that follow me home.

//

I am the one who survives them.

//

And though my hands still tremble

when tomorrow knocks at the door,

I walk toward it anyway-

carrying both the darkness and the light,

learning that hope is not a feeling,

but a choice I make

every single day.

//

"I bury the noise beneath unfinished tasks,

stack hours upon hours like walls around my heart.

If I seem distant, forgive me-

I'm in a workaholic mood."

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