The Ways I Slip

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How many times have I slipped in life

Without even touching the ground?

As rainwater leaving the edge of a leaf,

I too have fallen without a sound.


Was it love that carried me away,

Or only the fear of being alone?

How easily the heart mistakes a passing shadow

For a place it can call home.


I have wandered from affection into attachment,

From attachment into dangerous fire,

Like a moth circling a fire lamp at midnight,

Knowing the flame still calling it higher.


Why does the soul grow restless

Even when the hands are full?

Why does the moon seem more beautiful

To the man standing inside darkness?


I have chased comforts beyond my reach,

Thinking happiness lived somewhere ahead,

As a thirsty traveler in a desert-

Running toward a mirage instead.


And debts gathered around me quietly,

Not only of money -

But of promises, mistakes, silences,

And words I should never have said.


Sometimes I slipped because of others,

A crowd laughing, a foolish night,

But isn’t a storm only dangerous

When something inside me is already weak enough to break?


I have fallen through pride like a king without a kingdom,

Through desire like waves losing themselves upon rocks,

Through loneliness like an abandoned house

Still waiting for footsteps at the door.


What is a human heart after all?

A river that never stays still.

Today calm as prayer,

Tomorrow deep enough to drown in.


Yet I have learned this much from falling:

No one becomes lost in a single moment.

A tree does not collapse with one wind;

It breaks slowly, fiber by fiber, unseen.


And perhaps life is nothing more

Than learning how fragile I truly am-

A small flame trembling before the universe,

Still trying to give light before the darkness arrives.


So when I slip again  and perhaps I will-

May I fall like rain returning to earth,

Not in shame,

But with the wisdom of knowing

Even broken rivers eventually find the sea.


“If everything ended in a single moment…”

 thinking that, while sitting alone in emptiness,

as always, I may slowly slip again

into a deep abyss…

perhaps into another world

from which there is no returning.

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